Naruto Auction
by Sakura Schiffer
Summary: A place where anyone & everyone can bid on their fave Naruto (& Bleach) characters


**Sokka: Ello out there! Its me again, Sokka Uchiha, back for more Naruto things…but trust me, this time it will be funny instead of depressing!**

**Kazuhira&Shiro: *Jumps out of seats* Yay!**

**Sokka: So…now I shall give you…The Naruto Auction!**

**A/N: I do NOT own Naruto**

**~ENJOY ^3^**

"Ello strangers! And welcome to the Naruto Auction!" I announce as I stumble out from behind the stage curtain. "Excuse my clumsiness…anyways, my name is Sokka Uchiha & I shall be your hostess for this auction! Now, so ya'll know this here is the place where anyone of ya'll can bid for your favorite character from the Naruto world, but sadly…a certain scientist from another anime-not saying any names*cough*Szayel Aporro Granz…decided he wanted a new specimen…"

A gentle cackle sounded from the front row of the audience as the spotlight lands on the pink haired Espada, his glasses hiding the evil glint in his golden eyes. "At least it is I & not that clown-looking-Shinigami Captain Mayuri. I simply am curious of these…ninjas, is all Sakura-Chan…"

"MY NAME IS SOKKA UCHIHA! SAKURA SCHIFFER IS ONLY IN BLEACH!" The room was silent at my abrupt outburst, waiting until I calmed down in fear of being mauled. "So…back to what I was saying…Anyone is allowed to bid on their favorite character from Naruto…& since we have our unexpected Espada with us…he will be going up as well!"

Szayel squinted his eyes at me in anger as I pranced over to the far side of the stage, my converse shoelaces tripping me a few times. "But just to get one thing straight…When Sabaku no Gaara goes up for auction…I _will_ destroy who ever dares to stand in my way!" The audience goes silent as I activate my Sharingan, my blood red eyes sweeping over everyone in the room. Quickly, I signal for the spotlight to follow me as my eyes return to their normal sapphire color, my hand revealing several bound Narutos, a rag covering every one of their mouths. "So…without further ado…let's begin the main guy the anime was named after…Naruto Uzumaki!"

"Merph! Merf! Moof!"

"So…as ya can all see, he can multiply with shadow clone…and he has a Jinchûriki inside of him, which is the strongest of the other eight, & he's a blonde…as we all know, blondes are fun! So, I'll start the bidding with…" Looking around the stage I quickly run off for and moment, returning quickly with my hand behind my back. "This chocolate chip cookie I found on the floor backstage!"

"Whhhaaattt? Aw, c'mon…why would I want that?!"

I laugh as I turn to the ninja behind me, slightly amused that he was able to remove the gag from his mouth.

"I…I…I…"

Hinata was standing in the back of the crowd, her face a tomato in the dim light as she struggled with her offer. "JUST SPIT IT OUT ALREADY!"

"I OFFER MY ETERNAL LOVE TO NARUTO!" The girl finally squeaked out before fainting into the blonde's lap next to her.

"Aw…Poor, shy little emo girl…Naruto how can you not want to tap that? She totally wants you to!" I giggle at the dumb founded look on the blonde's face, my hand swiveling in the air to continue the bids.

"I offer this Band-Aid for the boss!" My attention is brought to a trio standing in front of the stand, the leader of the bunch holding up a skull printed Band-Aid. I smile at the kids before nodding my head no & look towards the audience again. "I don't think so Kahonahamaru…"

"I offer being dinner!" Szayel's gloved hand waved in front of me, causing Naruto to shiver as I giggled.

"I'll viciously remove the Nine-tailed fox from his mutilated body." Madera screeched from the crowd, causing the other attending Jinchûriki to quickly slip on their Abu masks on.

"He shall be a sacrifice to Jashin!" Hidan's deep voice caught my attention, a blush covering my face at the sight of him. "Oh…such a tempting offer…~"

"Whhhaaa?! I thought I was choosing who won me?!" Naruto's whining instantly snapped me back to reality as I threw the microphone at his head. "Shut up Baka! He's sexy! So he gets what he wants!"

"I offer my body to the dobe…"

All fangirls in the area squealed as Sasuke stood from his seat, instantly removing his shirt to reveal his goods to Naruto, causing the blonde to blush & turn away.

"Dumbass Teme, I'm not gay!"

"Liar! Why are you blushing?!"

"I AM NOT LYING!"

"LIAR, LIAR, NARUTO UZUMAKI ON FIRE!"

"I AM NOT ON FIRE!"

The blonde squirmed in his restraints as he attempted to attack me, but time was running low & Kevvy Talks needed the building for her coming up Bleach Auction.

"So…as you can see, Naruto Characters are chopping at the bit, so ya better get yer bids in now, cause ya'll really got some competition with Sasuke Uchiha & his body…"

"I DO NOT WANT SASUKE'S BODY!"

"So, see ya'll next time here at Naruto Auction~"

Quickly, everyone makes their way out of the building as Bleach fans fill the seats; I, myself, leaving the squirming blonde tied up in a corner backstage, the rag covering his mouth again.


End file.
